Dr. Carter, why is your nose so pointy?
Dr. Carter is but an instrument of God
Dr. Carter, you're the only original cast member left
Dr. Carter you suck at basketball
Dr. Carter had a crush on Maggie Doyle
But she was a lesbian
Dr. Carter liked his student Lucy
But she got stabbed by a psycho
You hurt your leg
You got stabbed in the back
You got maise in your eye
You almost got whacked
And kicked in the chest
You used to vomit when you got nervous
You were addicted to painkillers
Dr. Carter got arrested for obstruction of justice
Dr. Carter your "Gamma" is rich
Dr. Carter, you're a magnet for blonde haired bitches
Dr. Carter you wish you were Dr. Greene
Except without the tumor, glasses, and male pattern baldness
But other than that, you wish you were Dr. Greene
Dr. Carter, you hate Dr. Kovac
Luka is not your friend
Because he was doing Abby when you wanted to
So then you started liking Susan
But then when you were treating small children with smallpox
You realized you don't like Susan
You hate Kerry Weaver
She's not your friend either
She likes women and she has a gimp
Dr. Carter, you tried to grow a beard
But it didn't work because it got glued to a patient
8.13.2002
Part II of the Andrew song
Andrew will die a bitter old man
If he can't do it than no man can
Andrew doesn't love me the way that I love him
And if I can't have him then screw him
What the hell
I'm better off without him anyhow
He's not that good-looking
He's not that funny
He's not my generation's George Clooney
What the hell
I'm better off alone anyhow
But if he has a voice of wisdom
It better tell him to watch his little Egyptian ass
Andrew will die a bitter old man
If he can't do it than no man can
Andrew doesn't love me the way that I love him
And if I can't have him then screw him
What the hell
I'm better off without him anyhow
He's not that good-looking
He's not that funny
He's not my generation's George Clooney
What the hell
I'm better off alone anyhow
But if he has a voice of wisdom
It better tell him to watch his little Egyptian ass
8.7.2002
(verse 1)
Andrew, Andrew, how I love him so
If only I weren't afraid of telephones
My friends stopped asking me how I am
Started asking me if I've called Andrew yet
I wanted to ask him to see Goldmember with me
(chorus)
It's a shame all I've gotten is his negativity
It's too bad he hasn't realized that he is just like me
It's so typical that opposites attract
That's why I'll never get Andrew
(verse 2)
I need to stop falling for Andrew
Because I know he's such a total asshole
I'll be almost sure that he hates me
My friends talk me into thinking he likes me
I bought a box of chocolates in case he turns me down
(repeat chorus)
(bridge)
He's just more proof that I will die alone and unloved
He's just more lightning down my chimney to kill my dogs
I don't need him, I can't have him
But I want him so bad it hurts
Take an Advil, eat my chocolate, sit in my bedroom and pout
But if I could change -ologies or old wives' tales
I'd mae it so I'd be good for him
And he'd be good enough for me
(repeat chorus)
Andrew, Andrew, how I love him so
If only I weren't afraid of telephones
My friends stopped asking me how I am
Started asking me if I've called Andrew yet
I wanted to ask him to see Goldmember with me
(chorus)
It's a shame all I've gotten is his negativity
It's too bad he hasn't realized that he is just like me
It's so typical that opposites attract
That's why I'll never get Andrew
(verse 2)
I need to stop falling for Andrew
Because I know he's such a total asshole
I'll be almost sure that he hates me
My friends talk me into thinking he likes me
I bought a box of chocolates in case he turns me down
(repeat chorus)
(bridge)
He's just more proof that I will die alone and unloved
He's just more lightning down my chimney to kill my dogs
I don't need him, I can't have him
But I want him so bad it hurts
Take an Advil, eat my chocolate, sit in my bedroom and pout
But if I could change -ologies or old wives' tales
I'd mae it so I'd be good for him
And he'd be good enough for me
(repeat chorus)
8.6.2002 5:51 pm
Grace and Colleen's Official List of Cool People
Colleen
Grace
Paul
Samuel L. Jackson
Brian Bell
Jimmy Fallon
Tina Fey
Mike Myers
Lenny Kravitz
Nannygirl
Dubya
Linda
John Lennon
Paul McCartney
George Harrison
Ringo Starr
Rudy Guiliani
Matt Lauer (not Katie Couric) (or Al)
Verne Troyer
Conan O'brien
Denis Leary
Donald Faison
Jack Black
Lewis Black
Jon Stewart
Will Ferrell
Ana Gasteyer
George Clooney
Omar Vizquel
Tom Hanks
Moby
Dana Carvey
Jack White
Sharon Osbourne
Kelly Osbourne
Ozzy Osbourne
Sting
Outkast
Ewan McGregor
Tina Turner
Spike Jonze
Denzel Washington
Gilda Radner
Yoshimori Yagusaki
Dr. Greene
Kevin
Will Smith
Colleen
Grace
Paul
Samuel L. Jackson
Brian Bell
Jimmy Fallon
Tina Fey
Mike Myers
Lenny Kravitz
Nannygirl
Dubya
Linda
John Lennon
Paul McCartney
George Harrison
Ringo Starr
Rudy Guiliani
Matt Lauer (not Katie Couric) (or Al)
Verne Troyer
Conan O'brien
Denis Leary
Donald Faison
Jack Black
Lewis Black
Jon Stewart
Will Ferrell
Ana Gasteyer
George Clooney
Omar Vizquel
Tom Hanks
Moby
Dana Carvey
Jack White
Sharon Osbourne
Kelly Osbourne
Ozzy Osbourne
Sting
Outkast
Ewan McGregor
Tina Turner
Spike Jonze
Denzel Washington
Gilda Radner
Yoshimori Yagusaki
Dr. Greene
Kevin
Will Smith
7.30.2002
I did two very important things today.
First of all, I called Andrew. That's right, I finally did it. And this time he was home.
Ring. Ring. Ring. (Uh oh, he's not home again)
"Hello?" (It's his dad!)
"Hi, can I talk to Andrew please?"
"Sure hold on." (WHAT? HE'S HOME. Definitely not what I was expecting.)
"Hello?" (Whoa - he sounds manly!)
"Hi Andrew. It's Colleen."
"Hi."
"Um...have you seen Goldmember yet?"
"No."
"Oh, well, I was wondering if you would wanna see it with me some time?"
"I don't think so." This is the part where my lungs began to implode and I went into shock. And the worst part is, after he said that, he GIGGLED. AAHHHH!!!!
"Oh. Uh. Okay. Bye."
Really a wonderful portrayal of a desperate little girl on my behalf. If I would've been PREPARED for him being home, it could've went something like this:
Ring. Ring. Ring.
"Hello?"
"Hi. Can I talk to Andrew please?" (Notice how a period marks a pause between the greeting and the question.)
"Sure hold on."
"Thanks." <- politeness takes preparation and confidence to pull off.
"Hello?"
"Hi Andrew. It's Colleen."
"Hi."
"Wow, you sound pretty manly."
"Uh...thanks?"
"How's your summer been going?" <- note attempt to stretch conversation.
"Good. And yours?"
"Good. Have you seen the new Austin Powers movie yet?" <-note avoidance of word "member"
"No."
"Do you think that you might wanna see it?...With me?" <-notice the FLIRTATION. Goddamn flirtation. That's what it's really all about, isn't it?
Perhaps this approach would've won me a date. Perhaps not. I'm sure he has his reasons, as pitiful as they may be. That little fantasy conversation sure is enjoyable to read.
Did I mention that this took place during a little get-together at Grace's house? Grace, Paula, Deana, Carly, and Amanda were there. So after that I was just like, "He said no." And went into the living room to contemplate life. Everyone looked shocked. We were all certain he would say yes. But look on the bright side, at least I called him, right? That's what I always say after I get turned down.
So Grace came in and sat on the couch with me and we talked for about an hour and a half. I am so lucky I met Grace. She abandoned four other guests just to talk to me. I've never had another friend like that.
So we started out about how shocked we were that he said no, then moved on to how we were both going to die alone and unloved. Then we both talked each other out of that and reassured one another that we would find someone. Then we talked about how we couldn't understand our other friends and how parts of our families hate us. Which basically turned into a talk about religion (Grace has a lot of born-agains in her family). And we came up with a pretty good idea. There is a god. There is no hell, because why would the one who loves you condemn you to an eternity of torture. After thousands and thousands of years watching humans senselessly kill each other, I'm sure God has developed tons of patience. So what happens is you're reincarnated over and over again until you learn all of life's leasons. Once you've figured everything out and know how to act and do the right hting, you go to heaven. It's their way of preventing any heavenly deliquents. As long as I think about everything like that, the whole world makes sense to me. It explains EVERYTHING.
Later on Daddio picked me up from Grace's house. And since it was just me and him in the car, I decided it would be the perfect time to discuss my never-to-exist Confirmation. I talked to him very calmly and explained how I knew I was not meant to stay a Catholic and even though I am not religious, I am spiritual. And that's the important thing. He said he's think about it and tell me later. Unlike the Eldabh converation, I think I handled that one fairly well.
Good night. I'm very tired now and I need my rest, for I have been enlightened.
First of all, I called Andrew. That's right, I finally did it. And this time he was home.
Ring. Ring. Ring. (Uh oh, he's not home again)
"Hello?" (It's his dad!)
"Hi, can I talk to Andrew please?"
"Sure hold on." (WHAT? HE'S HOME. Definitely not what I was expecting.)
"Hello?" (Whoa - he sounds manly!)
"Hi Andrew. It's Colleen."
"Hi."
"Um...have you seen Goldmember yet?"
"No."
"Oh, well, I was wondering if you would wanna see it with me some time?"
"I don't think so." This is the part where my lungs began to implode and I went into shock. And the worst part is, after he said that, he GIGGLED. AAHHHH!!!!
"Oh. Uh. Okay. Bye."
Really a wonderful portrayal of a desperate little girl on my behalf. If I would've been PREPARED for him being home, it could've went something like this:
Ring. Ring. Ring.
"Hello?"
"Hi. Can I talk to Andrew please?" (Notice how a period marks a pause between the greeting and the question.)
"Sure hold on."
"Thanks." <- politeness takes preparation and confidence to pull off.
"Hello?"
"Hi Andrew. It's Colleen."
"Hi."
"Wow, you sound pretty manly."
"Uh...thanks?"
"How's your summer been going?" <- note attempt to stretch conversation.
"Good. And yours?"
"Good. Have you seen the new Austin Powers movie yet?" <-note avoidance of word "member"
"No."
"Do you think that you might wanna see it?...With me?" <-notice the FLIRTATION. Goddamn flirtation. That's what it's really all about, isn't it?
Perhaps this approach would've won me a date. Perhaps not. I'm sure he has his reasons, as pitiful as they may be. That little fantasy conversation sure is enjoyable to read.
Did I mention that this took place during a little get-together at Grace's house? Grace, Paula, Deana, Carly, and Amanda were there. So after that I was just like, "He said no." And went into the living room to contemplate life. Everyone looked shocked. We were all certain he would say yes. But look on the bright side, at least I called him, right? That's what I always say after I get turned down.
So Grace came in and sat on the couch with me and we talked for about an hour and a half. I am so lucky I met Grace. She abandoned four other guests just to talk to me. I've never had another friend like that.
So we started out about how shocked we were that he said no, then moved on to how we were both going to die alone and unloved. Then we both talked each other out of that and reassured one another that we would find someone. Then we talked about how we couldn't understand our other friends and how parts of our families hate us. Which basically turned into a talk about religion (Grace has a lot of born-agains in her family). And we came up with a pretty good idea. There is a god. There is no hell, because why would the one who loves you condemn you to an eternity of torture. After thousands and thousands of years watching humans senselessly kill each other, I'm sure God has developed tons of patience. So what happens is you're reincarnated over and over again until you learn all of life's leasons. Once you've figured everything out and know how to act and do the right hting, you go to heaven. It's their way of preventing any heavenly deliquents. As long as I think about everything like that, the whole world makes sense to me. It explains EVERYTHING.
Later on Daddio picked me up from Grace's house. And since it was just me and him in the car, I decided it would be the perfect time to discuss my never-to-exist Confirmation. I talked to him very calmly and explained how I knew I was not meant to stay a Catholic and even though I am not religious, I am spiritual. And that's the important thing. He said he's think about it and tell me later. Unlike the Eldabh converation, I think I handled that one fairly well.
Good night. I'm very tired now and I need my rest, for I have been enlightened.
7.22.2002
I'm not writng very often, am I? It's hard, I haven't developed a pattern yet. When I have something to write and I'm writing it down it feels so natural, but I always have to pause for long periods of time and think about what I'm going to write next. Which is stupid, it's not like anyone is gonna read this but me. Well (hopefully) my offspring. I've been taking all my notes and cut out newspaper articles and ripped out magazine pictures of celebrities and have been filing them away into my desk. I'm just trying to preserve stuff, you know? There's very little left from my parent's childhood for me to pick though and analyze who exactly these people are. Maybe it will be easier for my kids that way.
So Andrew is back. I think. I haven't called. I'm not sure if I wanna call anymore. Maybe I don't like him the way I used to. It's hard to say. How did I like him before? I have no idea. Before I kept thinking, "You know, he's the one. You can run but you can't hide from the fact that you're not gonna find another one like him." Which seems stupid because I'm 13, and I think that's a little too young to go looking for your soul mate. I can't even remember any proof that he is "the one." Perhaps I should've been writing when all this was happening. Damn. I'm regretting not writing for about a year. So what if I do call him? I have no evidence to believe that he is going to wanna see a movie with me. I mean, it's me. I'm just too...me. I can't imagine why he would want to even spend 2 hours with me that doesn't involve any talking. All we ever did was fight.
That's where one of my friends would sweep in and say, "That's only because you two are so alike..." They don't know that. How can they be so sure of these things?
And what if he does say yes? And what if he wants to be like...my boyfriend? How am I going to deal with that one? I have all this stuff I still gotta do before I wanna get settled down...
OH MY GOD. AM I JUST PUTTING THIS OFF BECAUSE I THINK I'M GONNA MARRY HIM? That's what it looks like to me. No, he couldn't possibly be. But there's this little voice (as little as one of my voices can be), that seems to think he is. This could get ugly.
So Andrew is back. I think. I haven't called. I'm not sure if I wanna call anymore. Maybe I don't like him the way I used to. It's hard to say. How did I like him before? I have no idea. Before I kept thinking, "You know, he's the one. You can run but you can't hide from the fact that you're not gonna find another one like him." Which seems stupid because I'm 13, and I think that's a little too young to go looking for your soul mate. I can't even remember any proof that he is "the one." Perhaps I should've been writing when all this was happening. Damn. I'm regretting not writing for about a year. So what if I do call him? I have no evidence to believe that he is going to wanna see a movie with me. I mean, it's me. I'm just too...me. I can't imagine why he would want to even spend 2 hours with me that doesn't involve any talking. All we ever did was fight.
That's where one of my friends would sweep in and say, "That's only because you two are so alike..." They don't know that. How can they be so sure of these things?
And what if he does say yes? And what if he wants to be like...my boyfriend? How am I going to deal with that one? I have all this stuff I still gotta do before I wanna get settled down...
OH MY GOD. AM I JUST PUTTING THIS OFF BECAUSE I THINK I'M GONNA MARRY HIM? That's what it looks like to me. No, he couldn't possibly be. But there's this little voice (as little as one of my voices can be), that seems to think he is. This could get ugly.
7.13.2002 12:05 am
Lately, I've been thinking a lot about what I could possibly have been in a past life. If such things are possible. Grace thinks that she was Cleopatra. But everybody thinks that they were someone famous. I think I'll just limit it to a certain group of people.
Why I might be Italian: An unexplainable love for Italians and Italian culture.
Why I might not be: In Youngstown, you better like Italians or you better get out.
Why I might be Italian: An unexplainable love for Italians and Italian culture.
Why I might not be: In Youngstown, you better like Italians or you better get out.
7.7.2002 10:23 pm
I'm beginning to notice a pattern with this whole writing thing. And that pattern is: it doesn't happen in the day.
So I decided since I was born Catholic, I have no religion. There's no actual religion out there for me. Every religion has their great ideas, and their crappy ones. Example: Hinduism. Good idea? Karma and reincarnation. Bad idea? Castes. Judaism. Good idea? Yom Kippur (same idea as Lent, but 40 times shorter and countless times better). Bad idea? Circumcision and Kosher. And anyhow, good karma and bad karma is a lot better than good deeds and sins. But if sins are made, that's where Yom Kippur comes in. I'm not going to preach my religion, but I am going to practice it. Because this is America and I can practice whatever I want. So there.
P.S. I just watched Dogma
So I decided since I was born Catholic, I have no religion. There's no actual religion out there for me. Every religion has their great ideas, and their crappy ones. Example: Hinduism. Good idea? Karma and reincarnation. Bad idea? Castes. Judaism. Good idea? Yom Kippur (same idea as Lent, but 40 times shorter and countless times better). Bad idea? Circumcision and Kosher. And anyhow, good karma and bad karma is a lot better than good deeds and sins. But if sins are made, that's where Yom Kippur comes in. I'm not going to preach my religion, but I am going to practice it. Because this is America and I can practice whatever I want. So there.
P.S. I just watched Dogma
7.6.2002 11:35 pm
14 more days until Andrew comes back! Yay! Or...poo. That's still two weeks.
Possible band names:
I'll Clean Instead
Florida Chicken Massacre
Redneck Riviera
Possible band names:
I'll Clean Instead
Florida Chicken Massacre
Redneck Riviera
7.5.2002 11:20 pm
Last night I stayed over at Grandma Winnie's because Mom and Dad went to Ellen and Keith's to "celebrate" the 4th. They were inevitably bored. I, on the other hand, chose to celebrate "Indy-pendence" Day by watching Raiders of the Lost Ark 3 times. I love that movie. I've seen it so many times since I was little. It's great. I don't know how anybody can say Steven Spielberg sucks. They obviously haven't seen that movie.
I used to write songs, but I stopped because they really looked like a cry for help. And I don't want any help. Plus, for lack of a better term, they sucked. But the other day Grace was going through my song book and liked some of them. She thought they were pretty damn good. I don't think so.
What I bought today: USA shirt, Coldplay CD, moisturizer, acne treatment, two picture frams, and a fan.
I used to write songs, but I stopped because they really looked like a cry for help. And I don't want any help. Plus, for lack of a better term, they sucked. But the other day Grace was going through my song book and liked some of them. She thought they were pretty damn good. I don't think so.
What I bought today: USA shirt, Coldplay CD, moisturizer, acne treatment, two picture frams, and a fan.
7.2.2002 11:48 pm
Today I finally got around to calling the Andrew's residence. I was trying to call yesterday too, but nobody picked up. But today somebody did. I think it was his dad. The conversation went something like this.
Ring ring. (Okay, no one's going to pick up again.)
"Hello?"
(HOLY CRAP) "Hi, can I talk to Andrew?"
"Andrew? He's not home right now. May I ask who's calling?" (NOT HOME?!)
"Oh, okay. Well can you tell me when he'll be back so I can call again?"
"Uh...July 20. He'll be back around July 20." (WHAT?!) "Who is this?"
"This is Colleen."
"Okay, Colleen."
"Thank you. Bye."
"Bye."
AHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!
Just when I had all my nerve worked up! And then he goes over to another hemisphere! UGH! And then his dad will probably call him later and they'll be talking and then his dad will say, "Somebody named Colleen called." And Andrew will be like, "WHAT?!" (Grace notes: but he'll secretly be smiling inside). That Grace. If he ends up hating me, I'm going to have to have some words with Grace.
So what I guess I'm going to do for the next two and a half weeks while I wait for my love to return from overseas (this sounds like some cheesy WWII romance, doesn't it? Now all I have to do is get Faith Hill to do the theme song and I'm set) is mope around wishing I would've called sooner. See, I could've, but noooo, the telephone is just soooo scary. Yes, that is sarcasm you detect. I'm gonna start working out and drink more water. Maybe if I have something to look forward to I'll be able to succeed at those two things (big gulp of water).
Ring ring. (Okay, no one's going to pick up again.)
"Hello?"
(HOLY CRAP) "Hi, can I talk to Andrew?"
"Andrew? He's not home right now. May I ask who's calling?" (NOT HOME?!)
"Oh, okay. Well can you tell me when he'll be back so I can call again?"
"Uh...July 20. He'll be back around July 20." (WHAT?!) "Who is this?"
"This is Colleen."
"Okay, Colleen."
"Thank you. Bye."
"Bye."
AHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!
Just when I had all my nerve worked up! And then he goes over to another hemisphere! UGH! And then his dad will probably call him later and they'll be talking and then his dad will say, "Somebody named Colleen called." And Andrew will be like, "WHAT?!" (Grace notes: but he'll secretly be smiling inside). That Grace. If he ends up hating me, I'm going to have to have some words with Grace.
So what I guess I'm going to do for the next two and a half weeks while I wait for my love to return from overseas (this sounds like some cheesy WWII romance, doesn't it? Now all I have to do is get Faith Hill to do the theme song and I'm set) is mope around wishing I would've called sooner. See, I could've, but noooo, the telephone is just soooo scary. Yes, that is sarcasm you detect. I'm gonna start working out and drink more water. Maybe if I have something to look forward to I'll be able to succeed at those two things (big gulp of water).
6.29.2002 12:14 am
Grace's rescheduled bonfire was held on this beautiful...yesterday. Grace, Paula, Deana, and me ended up being the only ones there, but it was a blast anyhow. I was having a good time burning things from the past year, and also random weeds I found growing in Grace's back yard.
I bet Grace and Paula $5 that if I asked out Andrew he'd say no - why do I think this? Well, for starters the only feelings he has for me are resentment and annoyance. Everyone keeps telling me "Oh, he likes you. I can tell by the way he looks at you." But, being the narcissist that I am, I don't believe them. It's like when people tell you your hair looks nice when you KNOW it looks horrible. They're just telling white lies to get me to ask him out.
But I have been rejected enough times consecutively to feel completely unworthy of love. Grace says boys are intimidated by me. Ross says it's because I'm crazy and unique. So does this mean the only girls who deserve to be loved are easy-going, sane, and identical? Not that I would want to be that, but I'd just like to be loved for being intimidating, crazy, and unique. And we're all crazy anyhow.
So Grace, Paula, and I are starting a band. We're planning on having Kevin as our drummer, since he is our friend and he is a good drummer and all.
Possible Names:
Kubaba (the beer lady)
Cornelius
Vesuvius
Katinka
Sneezer (like Weezer)
Odin
Rashad
Spuds Mackenzie
Buddy Clinton
I bet Grace and Paula $5 that if I asked out Andrew he'd say no - why do I think this? Well, for starters the only feelings he has for me are resentment and annoyance. Everyone keeps telling me "Oh, he likes you. I can tell by the way he looks at you." But, being the narcissist that I am, I don't believe them. It's like when people tell you your hair looks nice when you KNOW it looks horrible. They're just telling white lies to get me to ask him out.
But I have been rejected enough times consecutively to feel completely unworthy of love. Grace says boys are intimidated by me. Ross says it's because I'm crazy and unique. So does this mean the only girls who deserve to be loved are easy-going, sane, and identical? Not that I would want to be that, but I'd just like to be loved for being intimidating, crazy, and unique. And we're all crazy anyhow.
So Grace, Paula, and I are starting a band. We're planning on having Kevin as our drummer, since he is our friend and he is a good drummer and all.
Possible Names:
Kubaba (the beer lady)
Cornelius
Vesuvius
Katinka
Sneezer (like Weezer)
Odin
Rashad
Spuds Mackenzie
Buddy Clinton
6.27.2002 10:39 pm
Well here I am, trying to start up my notebook writing again. I've tried more than once, but every time it fails horribly. If I'm lucky, I'll write for three days. So I'm thinking maybe it's that I can only write like a maniac in these kinds of notebooks. I hate spiral notebooks. They're just so...tricky. I mean, who can figure out that spiral thing on the side?
So, by chance, after I got home from babysitting today, my mom and Morgan (my little sister, she's 10), decide they need to go to the dollar store to get stuff for Morgan's trip to Camp Fitch next week. This is going to be great, a whole week without Morgan and her chronic whining disorder! But anyhow, I'm getting off track. I know they always sell these notebooks there, so I hopped in the car and got one.
Why I need to write again
1. Because I'm emotionally out-of-touch, which makes me emotionally unavailable which makes me appear to be cold and heartless (which I may or may not be).
2. As shown in the item above, I can't explain anything without confusing everyone!
3. It's sad that I wrote so much for so long and then just kind of stopped.
4. I should preserve these golden years on paper so I can look back at them in the future and sigh with sympathy.
So, by chance, after I got home from babysitting today, my mom and Morgan (my little sister, she's 10), decide they need to go to the dollar store to get stuff for Morgan's trip to Camp Fitch next week. This is going to be great, a whole week without Morgan and her chronic whining disorder! But anyhow, I'm getting off track. I know they always sell these notebooks there, so I hopped in the car and got one.
Why I need to write again
1. Because I'm emotionally out-of-touch, which makes me emotionally unavailable which makes me appear to be cold and heartless (which I may or may not be).
2. As shown in the item above, I can't explain anything without confusing everyone!
3. It's sad that I wrote so much for so long and then just kind of stopped.
4. I should preserve these golden years on paper so I can look back at them in the future and sigh with sympathy.
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