8.28.2002 8:35 am

(verse 1)
How much of a loser am I
When my mama thinks I live in a time warp?
She can't figure out why
My interest in the past has no end
My friends don't understand
What is Bloom County, and why I read it so much
Got a record player in my room
So I can listen to records whenever I want to
Nobody knows why I watch old episodes of ER and Friends and Cheers

(chorus)
Modern Day America sucks
Why does Anna Nicole Smith have her own show?
Modern Day America sucks
Starbucks and McDonalds fight for a place on every corner

(verse 3)
Sometimes I pretend Bill Clinton is still president
Or George Bush, or even Ronald Reagan
I think I'll hide this September 11th
From the media in a bomb shelter
I wish it were still InDecision 2000
When we couldn't choose between highly coached or medicated

(chorus)
Modern Day America sucks
Whatever happened to Spuds Mackenzie?
Modern Day America sucks
What 's the story with the Geico Gecko?

(verse 4)
Remember when MTV was cool?
Before Carson Daly and TRL?
When they had Beavis and Butthead and The Jon Stewart Show
Now all that's good is The Osbournes
Somebody please explain the shopping mall
What is up with the Bohemian crap?
I've never seen anyone wear it because these shirts are see-through
And how can a guy with no shirt sell Abercombie and Fitch?

(chorus)
Modern Day America sucks
What will ER do without Dr. Greene?
My generation sucks
Brain dead corrupted youth make me wanna scream

(bridge)
The more I think about it
The more depressing it gets
I can't even watch the news
Cuz what they say makes me want to shoot myself
I don't wanna go back in time
I just want time to move on
Cuz this summer has been a load of bullshit